This tweet has already lost me 4 followers and I’m totally okay with that.

This tweet has already lost me 4 followers and I’m totally okay with that.

@1 year ago with 1 note
#Entertainment #twitter 

A way to improve your life’s quality: Do something and lie about it being a New Year’s resolution so you don’t feel like a total piece of shit.

@1 year ago with 1 note
#wisdom #advice #don't do drugs too often 

highfivesforcoolguys:

Please sign my petition to neuter all guys who believe Neil Patrick Harris’ character from How I Met Your Mother, ‘Barney Stintson’, is a role model

Look for this petition on whitehouse.gov

@1 year ago with 6 notes

There are few people I love as much as Annie Clark in this world, and Annie Clark is the only one of them that I can think of at the time of this post.

@1 year ago with 1 note

I keep getting e-mails from an internet based Canadian pharmacy offering me an 80% discount on pills that make you get boners (which I don’t need because I sometimes get boners around girls if I feel like it). They are relentless.

I also keep getting e-mails offering to be a “f#ck buddy”. If anyone can inform me on what a “f#ck” is, please do so as I’d like to give a definitive answer to my “f#ck buddy” suitor as soon as possible.

@1 year ago
this forgot private part kisses

this forgot private part kisses

(via whenwordsfailmusicspeaks-x3)

@1 year ago with 490247 notes
let’s go Mexico City! 

let’s go Mexico City! 

(Source: subbaned, via fyneshrine)

@1 year ago with 1933 notes
#mazel tov 

If you could determine someone’s race based off their music library, I’d be white.

@1 year ago with 1 note

The first episode of our new sketch series Kroll Show is now available for download free on iTunes! 

comedycentral:

This is the best thing to happen to the Internet since cats were invented.

Catch the Kroll Show television premiere Wednesday, January 16 at 10:30/9:30c.

Funny comedian, funny sketch comedy show. I couldn’t recommend more.

@1 year ago with 46 notes

highfivesforcoolguys:

your success as a human being can be measured in how many unmatched socks you own

@1 year ago with 5 notes